Money can Ruin your Marriage

This may seem like a “weird” post to come from me since I haven’t established my being a married person yet. Since I don’t want to bore you with the details, let’s just say that a rat racer chose to get married. To whom? To another rat racer I met in the Core Team. Now, there are 2 of us involved in my grand plot of “shifting to the right side.” (This is the title of my personal blog,www.businesscoach.createabundance2020.com We've just been married for 3 weeks but money concerns arise everyday. From the who-gives-money-to-the-church to the how-much-do-we-allot-for-our-parents'-medication concerns, money is constantly encountered. I can write about my reasons for wanting to get married or how I knew that it’s the “right” time or how I knew that he was the right person but I’ll fast forward a bit. I’ll start this series by sharing parts of an article which I read from Dr. Phil’s website http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/32 entitled “Financial and Marital Harmony.”

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It's this simple: Money can ruin your marriage. In fact, it's the number one problem in marriages, and the number one cause of divorce.

People often underestimate the commitment in merging two lives together. The reason we fight most about money is because it's the most measurable. Sure, compromises also need to be made when it comes to issues of time, space and affection, but with money the give and take is quantifiable.

Dr. Phil has advice for developing and keeping marital and financial harmony.
1. Relationships are mutually defined. Each partner needs to be comfortable with any guidelines you set. Don't build resentment if you've agreed to it.
2. Everyone should have some financial freedom. Whether $5 or $500, discretionary income is a must for any partnership. If you want to run it through a shredder, it ought to be your right to do so. Having your own money helps you feel like you haven't given yourself up in order to be part of a relationship.
3. While financial independence is important, it must be balanced with accountability. Don't hide your spending habits from your spouse. Live within the boundaries you set. Consult your spouse before purchasing big-ticket items.
4. Emotional problems can't be solved with money. Take a hard look at what's really behind your spending habits.
Don't let yourself get taken advantage of. Are you working 80 hours a week just so your spouse can live beyond your means? That's not being a partner; that's being a paycheck, and it won't fix the problem.
Negotiate, and then renegotiate when necessary. You made these life decisions together, and you can change them together.
5. Educate yourself. Marriage is a partnership, and both individuals need to be well-informed. Many problems — especially when it comes to money — stem from lack of knowledge.
6. When a financial issue comes up, ask yourself: Is it really a money problem or is it a relationship problem?
Money should not be used as a weapon against your partner.
7. Joint vs. Separate Accounts: Dr. Phil suggests separate accounts, because it's important to have independence and your own discretionary money.

I can't underestimate the role of education in preventing marital problems on money.
As "advertising" as it may seem, I'd be selfish not to inform you that money management for couples is discussed in the Wealth Course.
I've lost count on the number of Wealth Course participants, single, married or even separated, who were very grateful on the information shared about money management. It's a topic worth discussing unless you want your relationship to go down the drain just because of money.